Slim Bloodworth officially announced she is standing for the office of Mayor of Montrose. Her decision comes after initially denying her candidacy, a statement which resulted in the appearance of a weeks’ long “Draft Slim” campaign.
Bloodworth’s reentry into the race, particularly at such a late hour, has raised a host of questions amongst long-time Montrose watchers, as well as conspiracy theories from critics of former Mayor for Life Chris Hutto’s regime.
Some dissidents allege that Bloodworth’s support is not only manufactured, but that her campaign is a plot by deep state Hutto loyalists to continue the previous administration’s policies with her as a figurehead. Additionally, accusations have been raised that Bloodworth’s candidacy is a means to siphon off votes from other, reform-minded candidates.
Outside observers also speculate that Bloodworth’s entry into the race may be an attempt by the Huttites to distract Montrosians from the neighborhood’s persistent economic turmoil. As the price of Montrose’s preferred currency, the Twenty Bag, climbs to two blowjobs and a handy — various NGOs and aid groups have already begun deploying resources to the affected area.
“We have increased deliveries of cheap beer and strong coffee to Montrose,” Sarina Pasha, a representative of the Poison Girl group, said. “However, ongoing political instability, and an army of country music fans poised on the borders, has made it difficult to get everyone sloshed who needs to be.”